Dear Feds

Please update my files with the following information:

1. I have joined the ACLU and NORML and sent money to a local mosque and will deduct these contributions from my taxes.

2. I have been to some pretty disgusting web sites since your last sweep, doing research, naturally.

3. I believe that civil disobedience is good, and that blind conformity is un-American.

4. I am convinced that the neo-cons and religious extremists are fascists.

5. I believe violence is sometimes justified, though not by us in
Iraq.

6. I attended Boys State in high school and thought it was a horrible joke.

7. I have said in private to friends already on your list that I wish someone would just shoot the son of a bitch.

8. I have masturbated my entire life.

If there is information that could get me on more of your shit lists please let me know and I will be happy to send it.

Your unruly constituent,

SSN xxx-xx-xxxx

CC: FBI, CIA, NSA, Equifax, Bank of America, Google, Yahoo, County Commissioners and City Hall