The Lost Gospel
An astonishing document has recently surfaced after a tortuous search through the catacombs of an obscure American library. Found in a very old manila file folder, the document is supposedly the work of a female disciple who was apparently omitted from the original list of saints — which it is surmised was for reasons that could only be attributed to political correctness in a patriarchal time.
By all available evidence, the Gospel According to Mandy, as it is called by its as yet anonymous discoverer, appears to be authentic — although it has not yet been submitted to experts for study and validation.
Formally titled The Gospel According to Mary Magdalene, the manuscript clarifies several theological points, including what Jesus really meant when He told his disciples to be fishers of men. Surprisingly, it was not what many evangelicals think. According to Mary Magdalene — called Mandy by the other disciples, hence the popular nomenclature — militant proselytizing was not what Jesus had in mind.
The work neatly fills in the gaps left by Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. For example, The Sermon in the Alley — which is purported to have been delivered by Jesus immediately after His confrontation with the money changers in the temple — sheds new light on His take on big business.
The book also amplifies Jesus’ meaning when He instructs us to render unto Caesar that which is Caesar’s. It is now clear that He was talking about taxes, not blind loyalty to narrow definitions of patriotism and sedition.
The Gospel sheds no light on the concepts of the Trinity, the Virgin Birth, or the Immaculate Conception, but it does make a clear and compelling case for separation of religion and government in Saint Mandy’s recounting of "The Miracle of The Efficient Bureaucrats."
As for the church, Jesus warns of the dangers inherent in the concept of mass public worship in "The Parable of The Silly Hat People."
Perhaps the most telling revelation of the book is that Mandy’s list of those suffered in the original Beatitudes had been drastically edited by church leaders down through the ages. In Chapter 7, verse 14, Jesus was supposed to have said, "Blessed are the gay, for they shall make the theme parties in heaven more fun."
By all available evidence, the Gospel According to Mandy, as it is called by its as yet anonymous discoverer, appears to be authentic — although it has not yet been submitted to experts for study and validation.
Formally titled The Gospel According to Mary Magdalene, the manuscript clarifies several theological points, including what Jesus really meant when He told his disciples to be fishers of men. Surprisingly, it was not what many evangelicals think. According to Mary Magdalene — called Mandy by the other disciples, hence the popular nomenclature — militant proselytizing was not what Jesus had in mind.
The work neatly fills in the gaps left by Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. For example, The Sermon in the Alley — which is purported to have been delivered by Jesus immediately after His confrontation with the money changers in the temple — sheds new light on His take on big business.
The book also amplifies Jesus’ meaning when He instructs us to render unto Caesar that which is Caesar’s. It is now clear that He was talking about taxes, not blind loyalty to narrow definitions of patriotism and sedition.
The Gospel sheds no light on the concepts of the Trinity, the Virgin Birth, or the Immaculate Conception, but it does make a clear and compelling case for separation of religion and government in Saint Mandy’s recounting of "The Miracle of The Efficient Bureaucrats."
As for the church, Jesus warns of the dangers inherent in the concept of mass public worship in "The Parable of The Silly Hat People."
Perhaps the most telling revelation of the book is that Mandy’s list of those suffered in the original Beatitudes had been drastically edited by church leaders down through the ages. In Chapter 7, verse 14, Jesus was supposed to have said, "Blessed are the gay, for they shall make the theme parties in heaven more fun."
posted by John Marsh at 9:21 AM
1 Comments:
Very interesting.
You know what they say, don't believe everything you read for it may have been edited, so sayeth the lord :)
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