Dear Miss Standish

Well, now, the shit has hit the fan, has it not? Or as another friend likes to say, “Oh, Lord, there’s another turd in the punchbowl.”

Don’t bother to read the comments on the article, though I expect you already have. Some are snarky.  Some bash the famous film guy. Some are from disappointed film freaks, who enthusiastically support you and the theater.

I’m guessing all the opinions are presumptuous, as we rarely have first-hand knowledge and truth is therefore mostly hearsay. So here’s mine. Relying only on intuition and supposition I came up with these theories, which I think make sense:

1. Film guy is a perverse, cruel, amoral, sadistic, manipulative sociopath. His movies celebrate such people and I never really liked them ... the movies or the characters. (I try to give small credence to physiognomy, but he surely does look the part.)

2. The bad lady is a jealous, passionless, phony LA hipster who is intimidated by your good cheer and enthusiasm ... another sociopath who must sabotage people who remind them of their own deficiencies.

3. Film guy is clueless and believes whatever lie the bad lady tells him.

4. Film guy is fucking the bad lady.

5.  She has the goods on him for blackmail.

If any of these theories holds water it may be that what has happened is a “cosmic boot” ... as Aunt Gail likes to call those times when the universe gives us a painful kick in the ass that forces us out of a situation so that a better one can manifest. 

Who knows? It may actually be best in the long run not having to deal with ugly film guy. Or he may wise up and get one of his sociopathic actor friends to run the bad lady over with his car. Or that this is a kick in the butts of the staff and theater fans. And don’t forget ... they say there’s no such thing as bad publicity.

Whatever the case, know that we are sending positive vibrations your way, along with the firm the belief that you will not only survive, but prevail.

Much love,

Uncle John