A short, therapeutic rant
Sometimes the psychobabble builds up in my brain and I must set it free. I am a Psych major and this is what it has come to:
I.just.cannot.get.into.this.class. Notice the periods between those words. That is me gritting my teeth. Narrative therapy. Oh my freakin' screeching weasels.
Page 284 of my textbook (and I doth quote verbatim): "To externalize the problem: What does Depression whisper in your ear?"
Really? Really??? As a therapist, I should be able to utter that question with a straight face? Quackery and balderdash. If a therapist ever said that to me, the first thing that would flash into my mind is, "This shrink is either a fraud or a pervert." The second thing that would flash into my mind, mere milliseconds later, would be "Oh boy. This is going to be good. I will toy with him much in the way a sweet fluffy kitten gently dismembers a lizard before going in for the kill." It would be very therapeutic for me, but I doubt the shrink would make it through the session without excusing himself to swallow a bottle of Xanax. Any ethical therapist with an ounce of common sense would know that someone who is clinically depressed does not have depression whispering in their ear - they have it screaming in their brain 24/7. I mean for God's sake, the only thing this kind of therapy might solve is the mild distress caused by chipped fingernail polish or, at most - at MOST - the undesirable aftereffects of consuming a tainted burrito at Taco Bell.
And get this: you are supposed to close the session by extending the story into the future. You are supposed to ask a client - please remember that I am studying addiction counseling here - "What do you predict for the coming year?" Holy mother of spotted hyenas! Putting myself in the client's shoes, the first thing I would predict is the imminent demise of my shrink. The second thing I would predict is going to jail for same. My guess is the therapist could not predict his own year into the future. Why on earth would he ask the client such a preposterous question?
My hair hurts. I am going to bed.
I.just.cannot.get.into.this.class. Notice the periods between those words. That is me gritting my teeth. Narrative therapy. Oh my freakin' screeching weasels.
Page 284 of my textbook (and I doth quote verbatim): "To externalize the problem: What does Depression whisper in your ear?"
Really? Really??? As a therapist, I should be able to utter that question with a straight face? Quackery and balderdash. If a therapist ever said that to me, the first thing that would flash into my mind is, "This shrink is either a fraud or a pervert." The second thing that would flash into my mind, mere milliseconds later, would be "Oh boy. This is going to be good. I will toy with him much in the way a sweet fluffy kitten gently dismembers a lizard before going in for the kill." It would be very therapeutic for me, but I doubt the shrink would make it through the session without excusing himself to swallow a bottle of Xanax. Any ethical therapist with an ounce of common sense would know that someone who is clinically depressed does not have depression whispering in their ear - they have it screaming in their brain 24/7. I mean for God's sake, the only thing this kind of therapy might solve is the mild distress caused by chipped fingernail polish or, at most - at MOST - the undesirable aftereffects of consuming a tainted burrito at Taco Bell.
And get this: you are supposed to close the session by extending the story into the future. You are supposed to ask a client - please remember that I am studying addiction counseling here - "What do you predict for the coming year?" Holy mother of spotted hyenas! Putting myself in the client's shoes, the first thing I would predict is the imminent demise of my shrink. The second thing I would predict is going to jail for same. My guess is the therapist could not predict his own year into the future. Why on earth would he ask the client such a preposterous question?
My hair hurts. I am going to bed.
posted by Unknown at 11:23 PM
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